.i yune.elie.
.seventeen and twelve months
.13th june 1991
.gemini
.penang, malaysia
.frequently sighted using emoticons such as -- \(^o^)/
.can be blur, absent-minded
.short attention span
.i ♥ shopping,camwhoring,colours,fashion, music,confectioneries,cheese,sushi,pocky, disney,cartoons,comics,chick-flicks/lit, fairytales, photography, photobooths ...etc sunrises pwn sunsets, and there's something about drizzles that's just so incredibly romantic. cheese+candy= ?!
don't wanna grow up

Elie IYune

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maggie T/lovely lace necklaces
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Tuesday, January 20, 2009 { 3:43 AM }

it's almost sad.. oh wait, it IS sad.. darn.. -____-"

but i wanted the change.. didn't i?
i've always dreaded the aging bit but at the same time, i've always been super optimistic about things getting more fun.. and less dull..

so anyway, it's been exactly two weeks since i started studying in uplands.
what can i say..?
it's different.. the way the teachers teach, the interaction between the students, the way things are run, the environment in general...

the workload is a lot and i've really gotta focus now. be more independent, get my priorities in order, be more organized...
Before, everything was quite simple actually. i already knew how everything was suppose to be done (i.e: presentations, project work, homework), and everything was always right in front of me really. textbooks and reference books had pretty much covered everything. so yeah, i suppose you could say it's a bit of a "culture shock"... in a way. take my DT presentation for example. apparently during the DT(design technology) presentation which was suppose to be a "lesson plan"(you play the role of the teacher and teach the class), you actually interact with the students while conducting the lesson. still remember how back then, the teacher would ask us to respond more to the speaker... yet whoever that was doing the presentation would be just like, read everything from the text-->no one asks questions-->finished. talk about convenient. after seeing how the others faired today though, i'm extremely nervous about tomorrow. before, I knew exactly how to complete my homework even though i didn't actually do it. now, the style and all is just not quite the same. besides, there's the rushing to classes all the time instead of just chatting, waiting for the teachers to come in.

i'm a little envious sometimes of course.. and there's always the what could've been
if i'd started a levels, i'd be like xin yi, having to work hard too but instead of having to catch up(not to mention feeling quite lost) for the last term which i'd missed(in the case of IB which started in september, this is the second term), i'd be beginning my "college days" along with the rest. everyone would be new and starting off at the same time. plus, it's more exam orientated so i'd know what my primary focus should be on.

if i hadn't started studying so soon, i'd probably be thinking carefully about what i really want to do in the future(which college, course and steps to take would be the most appropriate).. and be able to some other things as well. (like learning how to sew, writing, blogging more, going on the kl/genting trip, going out ...)

of course that doesn't mean i regret starting IB right now. regret is a waste of time... and i don't think that's exactly the word to describe how i feel... at least i hope not.

why'd i decide to go?

honestly, i wasn't seriously thinking of every single..aspect. i was really leaning towards disted and one stage. but then i was switching back and forth. so maybe you could just say it just so happened that at that moment, i was more into the IB course (international baccalaureate ) than a levels.. it was all so sudden and uncertain that i didn't even think about things properly.. like whether or not i'd fit in.. i didn't wish a gazillion times that there'll be people i can relate to.. i was too preoccupied to think about how things would be ... i was too indecisive to get a proper wardrobe.. in short, i was unprepared. i really did consider disted at a certain point and yea, i do wonder what it would've been like if i'd started at disted (i'd probably be whining and complaining about everything being just the same)..


i guess it's kinda true what they say about the whole.. you wouldn't know you miss it 'till it's gone.. (something like that)
.... or maybe it's just the familiarity of it's all. the comfort of everything being right where i remember them to be . no longer having those familiar faces around me and being in the same school compound.. things have changed.. and yes, i did kinda want them to. i was a little sick of the old rut, i admit. the same boring going-to-school deal. but now, i feel as though wouldn't mind it being how it was.. the comfort or whatever it was. the feeling of security. it's pretty pathetic really T_____T

"sometimes i feel like i've got to shut up and just not open my mouth cause i'm afraid i might suddenly burst out crying"

and to think i didn't cry on graduation
maybe it's cause it didn't seem so real then... or maybe it's just cause back then, i felt that it'd be okay.. yeah that's probably it.. the fact that i didn't expect to miss any of it.. not much anyway

anyway, i think this'll be good for me.. and for now, i want everything to work out well... :| i like to think that things are better now. that i don't feel as lost and upset as i did during the first week or so. i really want to get used to things in my new school and have an awesome experience :)

p.s: the grass on the field is fake.. and i hate p.e -_-
p.p.s: i suck at hockey
p.p.p.s: i can't believe i still haven't gotten the graduation pictures yet *glares* hehe